With a Broken Wing

Injuries happen, we try our best not to cause harm to those we play with, we try our best to be as safe as we can but accidents do happen and so do injuries. The visible ones we can see, we can touch, we can bandage and treat and they serve as a visible reminder of what can go wrong. I've heard someone who was playing with knives, one slipped and drew blood and it horrified her that she's hurt this person even though the sub was very much into it, the sight of the small trace of blood was enough to drop the Dom out of their head-space and break the mood.

But what about those wounds we can't see, what about the injuries to the Dominant/sub/slave's self esteem or psyche?

I recently came across an unusual situation, an extreme masochistic male sub who's a retired Navy Seal Instructor well versed in control of the mind and body, used to pushing himself and those he trained past their normal endurance. Each time I've seen him with a new Mistress she's been very petite and very new to the lifestyle, and he's been training them to fulfill his needs. He's lost more Mistresses in the last couple of months because of his extreme needs he wanted filling then most people have lost coins in their couch.

We talk as Dominants of protecting our sub/slaves and not pushing them further then their minds can go without seriously raising problems for them. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone talking about the damage done to a fledgling Dominant by a sub "topping from the bottom" and pushing them into area's that the Dom isn't comfortable in or where the (to their minds) extreme pain that they're inflicting is revolting them and causing them to doubt their own sanity and worth.

We hear all the time about subs/slaves being trained, but who trains the Dominant. Contrary to some opinions they do not spring from the ground fully aware of their position in life and knowing everything there is to know about Dominance and the tools of the trade. A person going to Home Depot or Lowes and having all kinds of perverted idea's to do with things there that the designer's never thought about, does not mean that that person is a Dominant, it just means that they're kinky as hell *grin*

If a new Dominant is lucky they'll find a local munch meeting and meet like minded people there who'll give them hints and suggestions and may even mentor them. If they're not so lucky then maybe they'll catch someone on-line in one of the numerous chat rooms and groups that will take the time to explain what it means to be Dominant. That was partly why I wrote the last subject that I did, putting my own thoughts together on what it means to me to be what I am.

But what if they have no one to help them muddle through all these confusing things, what if all they have is a sub who wants to play his/her way? What if all they have is an extreme masochistic pain slut who can't get anyone else to do the things to them that they want because any Dominant with half a brain cell would know how dangerous it was and stop? Is it up to the people at a munch to take this person to one side and tell them what they're doing is wrong? Is it up to a more experienced Dom to stop what this boy/girl is doing and put them in their place?

In the munch group I belong to we have very set rules, if something isn't safe then the DM will stop all play in the room and the sub will be released from whatever restraints they're in. But what about after that, is it their responsibility as Dungeon Master to explain to the new Dom what they were doing is wrong and unsafe and show them a safe way to do the same thing?
Naturally when all play stops in a room and we hear the word "Red" people rush to see what's going on and see if their help is needed. We have a number of people who are either in the medical profession or have taken advanced first aid course so their instinct is to check for injuries. Again what about those injuries that can't be seen, the embarrassment caused by everyone coming to see what's wrong and guilt for not listening to that inner voice telling them "this is wrong" even after the sub has been telling them that this is right.

Just where does the Dominants responsibility lie with helping the next generation be either SSC or RACK?