Thoughts on BDSM

There's a great deal of discussion about what BDSM is, what the letters stand for and the differences between their original meaning and the way they're interpreted today.

Bondage,Discipline,Sadism,Masochism is what most people think but there is another variation coming into it now, or perhaps it's always been there just not as defined as it is today, that's Dominance/submission or D/s as it's termed.

So what is D/s and how does it take it's place under the all encompassing banner of BDSM?

There are some who will claim to be Dominant and actively dominate their submissive. They have a set of rules that the submissive has to follow, some just minor rules and some that manage every minute of their day depending on how their particular relationship dynamic works.

They can set the time that the submissive gets up, the time spent in the shower, the clothes to wear that day, food to eat, what time to leave for work, what to have for lunch, what time to leave work, what food to buy for dinner. You name it and they can and will set a schedule up for their submissive, and the submissive follows those rules.

To the outside world the dominant may be seen as a control freak or anal retentive, but to those involved in this relationship it fulfills needs that they both have. The submissive may be searching for structure in their lives and the dominant provides that for them, the dominant may feel the need to closely supervise someone so they get their needs met.

Usually the first thing that comes to mind of those who don't understand is "Well that's not kinky that's just being bossy" or "They need help it's not right to control someone like that".

In a way they're right, it's not kinky, there's no ropes or leather involved, no handcuffs or anything else. The only thing making the submissive follow the rules of the dominant is their will, the submissive does it because they want to not because they're scared of what will happen if they don't. Take away that control and the submissive is lost for direction, they loose the structure that they need to function properly.

So where does that fit in with BDSM, it fits in very well really. Imagine that control put into a physical situation, the submissive kneeling beside the dominant taking care of their wants and needs, making sure they have what is needed to keep them comfortable. Perhaps the submissive broke some rule and needs correcting for it, that involves discipline and they may be masochistic needing those needs met as well.

So now we have Bondage,Discipline/Dominance, Sadism/submissive, Masochist or any combination that works for consenting adults in their relationship.