Safe words and responsibilities

I don't think there is a "normal" in the lifestyle just "acceptable" or "unacceptable" behavior. If what I say next offends anyone I'm sorry but this is my opinion, it's not meant to be insulting or judgmental against anyone I'm just sick to death of abusers hiding behind the label of BDSM and thinking they can get away with it.

As a group a sub being humiliated is acceptable, personal preference I don't like it but accept that the people involved do.
As a group using a person as a toilet is acceptable, personally I don't understand that but accept that other people do.
As a group reducing a sub to a creature is acceptable, again personally it's not for me.
As a group scarification, branding or piercing is acceptable, again not for me but that's just personal preference, I have been to a workshop on temporary piercing and know how it's done safely I just didn't like to do it once I'd learned how.
As a group a sub being flogged is acceptable, personally I love it.

BUT what I cannot and will not accept is someone beating a sub/slave after the sub has used their safe word, unsafe abusive behavior is just that and doesn't have a damn thing to do with Domination and none of us should tolerate it. Obviously I'm not meaning "safeword,smack,SAFEWORD" if the blow is in movement it's hard sometimes to pull that so it doesn't land without doing more harm, what I'm meaning is "safeword, WHAT how dare you try to stop me, gag him/her, restrain them tighter, now try to use that word again, smack smack smack, take by force what they won't give willingly, beat them some more"

Subs and slaves to me are still human beings and that entitles them to safety. If a sub comes to me and says they're not sure about their Domme because she's doing things that the sub doesn't like/want and ignoring safe words the first thing I ask is have you talked to them about your fears and concerns. If they ask me if it's normal to pee blood for a week after their Domme has beaten them with a broom handle, or ask if I know a good burn treatment that will make their skin heal faster because their Mistress burned them with a hand held butane torch and their back is infected, if they ask me if it's ok to be given to another Mistress to play with and that woman cuts them with a knife, then in all honesty I have to wonder at the sanity both of the sub and the Domme and tell them that I don't do it but you need to talk to your Mistress.

Sometimes I feel like I'm throwing a lamb back to the wolves but what option do we have? I know we all have different idea's on the lifestyle and what works for us, we all have different levels that we're comfortable with, we all have our own special ways to get what we want, and all of that is great and as it should be. I know this is not a "one size fits all" lifestyle and it shouldn't be. But when a sub is obviously afraid and plucks up the courage to ask for help, as a Dominant, or as a human being, don't we have some responsibility to find out if it's just a case of a mismatched couple or miscommunication between them or help the sub if they really are being abused?