Why can't I find a Domme

Recently a topic brought up by a couple of male submissive gathered some interest. They both asked "Why can't I find a Mistress", one had only found women who wanted "tribute" paid for every conversation with him and expensive gifts. I gave my answer in the group but looking at it now it's not just those two who have problems finding someone, so here's what I think one of the reason's is.

Maybe if you saw things from the other side so to speak you would understand why it's so hard to find someone who really does want to own you the person not you the wallet.

You both say you wish to be owned, so do thousands of others the majority of whom just want to be "owned" long enough to cyber. What sets you apart from them, nothing that I can see from "Hi I'm a 45 year old man who wants to be owned" and "I'm looking for a woman or maybe a couple to train me, I want to be forced", certainly nothing to get my interest and I doubt the interest of any Domina who is serious about the life she lives.

I don't know what kind of conversations you've had as a submissive searching for a Mistress, you said that most chats don't last long. If those conversations included the words "what would you do to me if you owned me" or any variation on those words then it's simple why those conversations ended, that's usually the lead in line to a cyber session where we're expected to follow along to your fantasy. That's also probably the reason why you have "mistresses" demanding money from you before they'll chat with you, you're paying for a service and that's to follow your script or your fetishes and get you off. They're "money Mistresses" and are using you to make extra cash, you pay for the privilege of being allowed to talk to them, the chances of you actually meeting them or having an exclusive relationship with them are slim to none, and I think slim left town a year or so ago.

A slave doesn't have to be perfect, but they do have to be flexible and adaptable. You say "but they thought they were going to change us", well yes we're going to change you to serve us and our needs and not those of every Domme you come across. I don't do the same things as Lady A or B or C or any of the other Domina's do, and they don't do the same things that I do, we may like the same things but we're not going to use the same technique to get the results we want. So while you may be perfect for one of them you're not going to be perfect for me and vice verso, while they may like A to be done this way I like A done another way, you'll be changed to perform the task my way not theirs.

A submissive contacts a Domme or tries to add them to messenger so they can talk in private, not a good idea boys and girls if the Domme in question is not looking to add any more sub/slaves to her stable. He/she trots out a list of what he thinks she wants to hear, he's very submissive and has no limits (yea right) or just simply states that he's a sub. What we read it as is he's horny and wants to talk about his fetishes while masturbating either on cam so she can watch or just type one handed. Does the sub/slave bother to look at her location, normally they don't care as long as they can fantasize about her, but sometimes they want you to travel to them to fulfill their kink. Where is there any mention of her wants and needs, of her fetishes and kinks.... Nowhere because she's supposed to be there for the sub to get off from not her to get anything from the sub.

And that guys and girls is what you're fighting against, those thousands of kinky jerks who just want to get off from their fantasy and don't really want to serve anyone for longer then it takes to get their rocks off.

If you're serious about the lifestyle and do genuinely want to be owned then be prepared to spend some time talking and proving that you can put her wants/needs before your own. It's not going to happen overnight, but then you're not looking for a one night stand are you?